I accidentally had phone sex last night
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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