I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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