thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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