At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
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He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
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Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.