i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
