He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
