so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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