sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
