my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
