I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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