I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
