Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize