Barsexuality is the new black.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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