just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
