How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
