At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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