Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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