your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
