i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize