you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
