somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize