If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
