I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
