"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
