Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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