He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
