Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
