You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
