Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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