she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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