It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
