Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
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Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
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Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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