Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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