sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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