Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
