Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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