Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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