i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
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THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
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All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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