You're earring is so big in my mouth
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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