My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
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FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
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It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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