I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just had sex bonerless
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
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You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
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You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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