We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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