you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
