how can u be prego again
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
