shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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