East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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