Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
