I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
