The maid of honor just puked.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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