I think I died a long time ago.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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