Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
