Define "chronic" masturbator.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
