Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Houston, we have a blender
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
