I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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