walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
