Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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