I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
