she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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