The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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