My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Houston, we have a blender
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
